Simple Formula for Happiness

Simple Formula for Happiness

It makes me happy to give happiness to others, and so, my friends, I present to you a simple formula for happiness.

Those who are happy, know what they have.  

It all comes down to where you focus your attention.  Do you focus on what you have?  Or what you feel is missing?  It comes back to that proverb, "The grass is always greener on the other side."  If you adopt this attitude, that there is something better around the corner, you can never be content, never happy.  Constantly focusing on what you don't have, you never learn to appreciate what you do have.  By chasing that next million, that next cause, that next job, that next holiday, you end up spending your life chasing, not enjoying.  

Take heart, dear friends.  Count your blessings and be happy!

Om shanti.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.brahmakumaris.org.

Letting go....no, REALLY letting go.

Letting go....no, REALLY letting go.

Each morning I go through my morning routine, which starts out very quiet and relaxed. The final part of my morning routine is taking my daughter to school, usually in a rush and usually with her quickly explaining the new revelation on her Pokemon/Minecraft/etc game.  By the time I say goodbye at the school gates it's about 8:50am - I walk home, in a rush and with my mind spinning through the day's To Do list.  Sometimes I walk to the shop - in a rush with mind spinning through a shopping list.  It seems the whole morning creeps into a resulting crescendo and once I'm in that state of flurry, I'm trapped - no way out.  

So I have another routine for the walk back (that is, if I remember in my mindless state).  First, I slow down my walking pace and my breathing.  This tricks my mind into thinking I'm no longer in a hurry.  Then I begin the process of letting go - letting go of lists, letting go of complaints, letting go of expectations, letting go of all mind clutter.  I get 10 minutes of walking, 10 minutes of letting go, before I reach back home.  But ideally, I try to let go in a second - REALLY let go, so that I can enjoy those precious 10 minutes of peace, completely free from stress, free from effort,  free from myself and the expectations I place on myself.

Om shanti.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.brahmakumaris.org.

Keeping Calm and Carrying On - in the workplace!

Keeping Calm and Carrying On - in the workplace!

In this fast paced world where we're expected to produce, log our productivity and then 'tweet' and engage a public we can't see, we tend to get pulled deeper and deeper into the muck and mire of expectation.  We're expected to perform, twice as fast, twice as hard, twice as much and twice as long.  Those of us who wish to practice a certain mindfulness or detachment are shunned as not being team players, not playing ball.  It's becoming increasingly difficult to maintain our spiritual principles where we've set our priorities and still keep the boss happy.  

I've been thinking about this a lot and knocking around some ideas - how does one keep the balance?  This is what I've come up with so far:

Learn to Act

I remember working in a canteen with a very laid back colleague.  He wasn't slow, he just appeared slow and it really annoyed our boss.  The boss had no complaint about his speed, but just that he looked too laid back, as if the task was not important enough to 'jump to it'.  The boss wanted him to show some energy, some enthusiasm, some urgency and just for show, just to make the customer feel important. Rightly or wrongly, the boss had an expectation that my colleague was not fulfilling.  Maybe if he had just put on a small act, put a spring in his step, made it look like he was dashing around the kitchen, he could have kept customer and boss happy.

Manage Expectation

As an eternal optimist, I believe anything is possible all the time and so I say yes to everything and fail to deliver.  This is the story of my life.  I have learned to say no, but even learning that doesn't mean I always say it when I should.  I am getting better at managing expectation when I remember to.  When I first notice I'm failing, I try to alert others to let them know it's all falling apart or it's going to be a little late or whatever.  Better to admit the slip straight away rather than keeping quiet thinking you have time to recover.  More than likely you don't - just face it and admit it.  You will gain trust and respect.  

Gather Evidence

Having been on the other side, where I have managed others, I see a different point of view.  Sometimes the boss (me) has an expectation how the job should be done.  For controlling types, especially, there is a need to dictate every last detail, to micro manage.  It would be better if bosses didn't do this, but if you have one that does, you really have to protect yourself.  I do try to keep quiet and let others get on with their jobs.  If there is a complaint that needs addressing, the boss should address it.  But if the job is getting done correctly, why should there be concern about the style of how it was done?  Some people's styles are mis-matched - like the boss and colleague in the first example.  The problem is, if the boss dictates the style, then this can hamper the input of the employee.  They become so concerned with being what the boss wants that they completely thwart their own creative process.  If you have a boss like this, you need to step back and 'gather evidence'.  Does the boss's feedback criticize your style or performance?  Have you made mistakes?  Is your productivity down?  If the criticism is on style, you could suggest to the boss that your own style helps you perform your best.  If he's still adamant that your style is unhelpful, well, perhaps you can 'learn to act'.

For your own happiness, you need to find that balance that works for you, and then work your style in with those around you.  Listen to the feedback - that will help you find the balance - but weigh each piece of feedback against what is useful, important, keeping those lines of communication open with colleagues.

Om shanti.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.brahmakumaris.org.

Writer's (or any kind of) Block - Where does it come from?

 

Writer's (or any kind of) Block - Where does it come from?

Whenever I sit at the keyboard, I believe that words should just flow from my fingertips at will.  Whether I have an idea or not, I expect an idea to just come, that I've been spinning my wheels all day on a variety of topics, that I must be able to choose one to write about.  But my mind goes blank and I have nothing to write.  There is plenty of inspiration, but all of a sudden, nothing seems good enough.  

This sort of block is an ego block.  Nothing is good enough.  Nothing is worthy of the image I'm trying to uphold as a writer.  (Or more accurately: Nothing is good enough to disguise how ordinary I really am!) 

 

The trick to going beyond the block is to go beyond the ego.  To write as a discipline and to not be concerned with the quality or how it makes you look.  Through writing (practice) quality will improve anyway.  But one has to start somewhere.  

I'm excited by this new idea.  I hope it doesn't mean I start producing rubbish and that you all run and hide when a new blog appears (whoops, another ego thought).  I do hope to apply this to other areas where blocks exist.  Has anyone else tried something similar?  Care to share the experience?

Om shanti.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.brahmakumaris.org.

Remember the Days of Your Childhood... and SMILE!

Remember the Days of Your Childhood... 

and SMILE!

Ok, that was weird.  I was going over some past blogs (and I've written so little lately that most of my blogs are well in the past) and I noticed that sometimes I didn't recognize the writer.  All my blogs have been written by me (unless I note otherwise) but they either made me chuckle or smile in a way that I didn't realize I could make anyone do, let alone myself.  So that was a fun realization.  

I also noticed that I enjoyed the fun blogs with the funny pictures more - but that might just be me.  I particularly liked Duvet Day Revisited with all the monkeys, but now most of the monkey picture links are broken.  Sorry.  But it did make me think I could use more animals in my blogs - does that go against Vegan principals to use animals for their pictures? 

Anyway, I thought as this blog is called SMILE, perhaps I should stick with the light stuff, the fun stuff, the monkey stuff.  Don't worry, you will still get something to think about - but it will be cleverly disguised as something fun.  Well, that is the aim anyway.  

Until then, smile!

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.brahmakumaris.org.

Is there profit in ethics? Should we care?

I read a business article recently which touted a moral stance but only because it would hurt the bottom line not to do so.  Another reader pointed out this flaw of character in a letter to the editor - that it wasn't moral principles that precipitated the decision but potential profit loss.  It made me take a hard look at myself.  Do I tow the line for morality because it's profitable?  

If I'm to be brutally honest, I can hear my arguments for taking a moral stance in various situations.  There is always a good reason, and the reason is never, 'Because it's the right thing to do.'  I've grown up justifying morality.  I think it started when at some point in my life it was uncool to be moral and I needed to justify my prudishness.  After a while it became habit - as if morality should ever need justification!  But having never grown out of the habit, I continued along that way of thinking until I read that letter to the editor.

Morality for the sake of gain might be a step in the right direction - but to stop there and not consider the prospect of morality for the sake of morality or morality for the sake of the greater good, we sell ourselves short.  Greatness comes when we do things not for our own gain, but for the gain of the world at large.

Should we care about profits?  If our aim is to grow our business, then, yes, we have to care.  If our aim is to uphold the highest principles then we don't need a second rate justification.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.brahmakumaris.org.

Check: Have we become complacent?

Check: Have we become complacent?

In my ballet class yesterday, the teacher gave us a little 'talk'.  She told us she was frustrated.  That she thinks we have settled into a comfort zone where we've stopped making effort to progress.  That we're somehow satisfied with less than what she knows we're capable of.  Her words, whilst difficult to listen to, were necessary.  We had adopted the attitude of let's just get through this class instead of let's master this class.  This sort of attitude brings you to a standstill.  Is that what we want?

When I think further on this, I realize that this does not only apply to ballet studies, but also to spiritual progress.  Where do I want to be?  What have I settled for?  Is this what I want?  It's a wake up call that is desperately needed.  We think we have plenty of time, that we can put off real effort until next week.  But we don't know when our last days are.  And more importantly, we don't know what circumstances will arise that will require real spiritual power.  We have this opportunity to accumulate now, but if we don't take advantage of that, we won't have what we need when we need it.

If not now, then when?

Om shanti.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

What I Learned From Hana - Respect

*Click on comic to see the full strip.

What I Learned From Hana - Respect

As children grow, the relationship we have with them also grows... and changes.  Where parents were once the heroes who could fix anything, we become a tolerated societal stigma.   And where they were once our precious little bundles of joy, they become something not quite recognizable.  What ultimately happens is a break-down in communication - partly because they are still working out what their feelings are and therefore can't quite communicate them to us, partly because we are no longer in control of them and this frightens us.

And therein lies the problem, we feel the need to control their behaviour (after all, society makes the parent responsible) and they feel the need to break away from that control and assert their own independence.  

This is how it looks on the surface.  But actually, the problem is deeper than that.  The problem is a common relationship issue of familiarity.  That is, we crossed a line moving from a position of respecting one another to a position of having a right over one another.  She should do as I say. I carried her for 9 months, I nurtured and fed her. I provided for her.  She should listen to me.  I'm her mother.  This is not a message of unconditional love - it is now love with a condition.  The child who receives this message instinctively knows it's unhealthy and wrong, but they don't know how to express this.  Instead they scowl, or hit out, or sulk, or any number of behaviours we read as disrespectful.   Put simply, by taking the attitude 'I have a right over this one' we show disrespect to that child, and so what does the child do?  She does the only thing she knows to do, the very thing we are teaching her, she shows disrespect in return.

The interesting thing is, this is not just a problem between parents and their children, this is a global problem affecting all relationships.  That line of familiarity is crossed, and then we think we have a right over someone - he should remember my birthday, he should consider my needs before making any decisions, he should want what I want - or she should like me as I am, she should not be trying to change me, she should not be telling me how to do it.

What is our thinking before we cross this line?  This person is interesting, I want to get to know this person, I like listening to this person, this person is valuable, this person deserves to have good things.

Now, which way of thinking is more attractive?  Which way of thinking is going to draw the other close?  Which pushes the other one away?  Which way of thinking is more suitable for relationships?

Through the relationships we have with children, we see immediate effects of our own words and actions whereas with other adults, we may not see the return of our words until much later.  Children give us an opportunity to learn how our own thought processes affects others.  Their behaviour is an immediate reflection of our own.  If we learn to listen and accept the message they are sending, we can learn to transform our attitude from 'one with a right' to 'one with respect'.  

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

"I can't do everything, but I can do something."

"I can't do everything, but I can do something." 
- Edward Everett Hale 

When I saw that quote today, I felt a great sense of relief. It made me realize that I've been carrying around this 'I can do everything' ego. Worse than that, my ego more accurately says 'I have to do everything.' Such a burden we place on ourselves. This quote was grounding, freeing. Let me start with something. And let that something be useful. 

  Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.