Paradise Lost
As I was walking home through the park today, I saw a three year old, running off towards the swings. I was remembering that age for Hana. She was so innocent, so carefree – not a worry in the world. There was nothing that appeared bad or wrong. Nothing could upset her. Life was just new – everything was new and interesting. For her, there was no history to aid in delivering a judgment or prejudice.
I've experienced that feeling before. I'm sure I felt it at 3 years old. And then, eventually that paradise feeling was lost. Eventually, I experienced it again just over a year ago (my fourth trip to India). I remember that feeling clearly. Everything was perfect, everything was lovely. I was in love with everyone and everything. I could not even imagine that I could not love everyone and everything. It was obvious to me that everything was just right – paradise. And then, after some time, it was lost. Paradise was lost.
Now I wonder how it was possible that, as an adult with knowledge of the world and the way it works, that I should ever feel everything is perfect. What is this phenomenon called where from one point of view, the other point of view is impossible, but when you are able to see the other point of view, the first point of view becomes impossible? Whatever it's called, I have experienced it from both sides! Without the use of mind-altering drugs. And because I know that that paradise feeling is possible, I have not lost hope that I will feel it again.
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