See only the specialities...

In Raja Yoga, we're taught when looking at others to see only their specialities, not their defects. I was just thinking how useful this advice would have been for my past employers. ;) When in employment (or seeking employment) we are groomed as to what employers want to hear - that we are self-motivated, that we are ambitious, that we work well in a team as well as on our own. Based on that description, I'd make the ideal employee. And at the time, I really thought I was. I believed those things about myself because I said it so convincingly in my interviews.

In my last place of full time employment, I became slightly more aware of myself. I discovered I was not really ambitious. I came clean to my employer. He was, I suspect, not terribly ambitious himself, and so he was fine with my declaration. Afterall, to keep me happy, he only needed to call me into his office occassionally, ask me if I'm happy, and tell me I was doing a good job. He was very hands off and that suited me.

After he was made redundant, I got a new boss who was new to management. He went on all the training sessions which taught him how to motivate and move his staff along a career path. Not sure why moving us along a career path was so important. I suspect it was to keep up the firms ratings for being a good employer - everyone has a career path. I just wanted to be told what to do, do it well, and be appreciated. Now I felt I was being forced to be ambitious. But I played along and I went on different training sessions like negotiation skills - which came in handy later when I went back for a contract position and had to negotiate my daily rate. ;)

Being a consultant was great. No boss, just a client. No one pushing me up a career ladder, just someone to tell me what to do, let me do it well and show appreciation each month via my bank account. ;)


So what does this have to do with seeing the specialities? It's a recognition that everyone is different. We're all motivated by different things - and I would argue we're rarely motivated by the self! And to get on with all our different relationships, we have to stop expecting others to fit into our own mold. As a project manager I found there are some who constantly miss the deadline, but they turn out excellent (and, dare I say, flawless) work. There are others who finish timely and, amazingly, accurately. Some are so accurate, they give you exactly what you ask for - so you have to make sure your request is accurate as well! Some are proactive and will check with you first on the finer details.

The point is, once you have discovered a person's speciality, you will then know how to go about making reasonable requests and getting the most out of them. I'm not saying it's easy. But if you're at a loss as to where to start, then start with respect. Respect will get you far and buy you time as you suss out the other's speciality. ;D