Feelings... nothing more than feelings.

Today I was anxious. I had this anxious feeling. It had been plaguing me most of the day. I don't put much stock in feelings - I know they can be misleading. I tried to ignore this feeling and I couldn't, so I decided to take some time out and analyze. I don't often recommend analyzing - it can mean that you go off into wasteful expansion. But I was going into wasteful expansion by not analyzing, so I decided to have a look at where this feeling was coming from.

It was connected with money. Lately I've watched a lot of money leave our account. We're having an extension built, my car just got serviced, and I have an appointment with the accountant to discuss taxes. But it's not just that. I don't get anxious writing checks. I'm not too bothered about paying taxes. But I do get anxious about not knowing how much more will go out. AND having to justify extra expenses.

This anxious feeling was becoming overwhelming. I had discovered the triggered. Now it was time to adjust my perspective. So first, a few facts to consider which I didn't consider when developing my anxious feeling:

1. My justifications are fine if I'm satisfied with them. I don't have to satisfy anyone else.

2. Whilst I should consider care in handling money, if I review my actions and find that I have not erred in my handing of the money, then I should be satisfied with that. Even if I have erred, past is past. Learn the lesson and move on.

3. Make the drama small. This is one scene in the drama. If I attach importance to it and blow it out of proportion, then I will be trapped by all the feelings and emotions that go with it. If I see it as just a temporary passing scene, a part of one whole, then I put it into perspective. It becomes small and insignificant.

This last point is the most important and useful. It doesn't mean that I ignore what's happening with my money, it means that I can rid myself of unhelpful emotions - feelings that stop me getting on with other things. And once that feeling is in check, I can be effective once more.

Thanks for listening - I needed that. ;D