Check: Have we become complacent?

Check: Have we become complacent?

In my ballet class yesterday, the teacher gave us a little 'talk'.  She told us she was frustrated.  That she thinks we have settled into a comfort zone where we've stopped making effort to progress.  That we're somehow satisfied with less than what she knows we're capable of.  Her words, whilst difficult to listen to, were necessary.  We had adopted the attitude of let's just get through this class instead of let's master this class.  This sort of attitude brings you to a standstill.  Is that what we want?

When I think further on this, I realize that this does not only apply to ballet studies, but also to spiritual progress.  Where do I want to be?  What have I settled for?  Is this what I want?  It's a wake up call that is desperately needed.  We think we have plenty of time, that we can put off real effort until next week.  But we don't know when our last days are.  And more importantly, we don't know what circumstances will arise that will require real spiritual power.  We have this opportunity to accumulate now, but if we don't take advantage of that, we won't have what we need when we need it.

If not now, then when?

Om shanti.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

What I Learned From Hana - Respect

*Click on comic to see the full strip.

What I Learned From Hana - Respect

As children grow, the relationship we have with them also grows... and changes.  Where parents were once the heroes who could fix anything, we become a tolerated societal stigma.   And where they were once our precious little bundles of joy, they become something not quite recognizable.  What ultimately happens is a break-down in communication - partly because they are still working out what their feelings are and therefore can't quite communicate them to us, partly because we are no longer in control of them and this frightens us.

And therein lies the problem, we feel the need to control their behaviour (after all, society makes the parent responsible) and they feel the need to break away from that control and assert their own independence.  

This is how it looks on the surface.  But actually, the problem is deeper than that.  The problem is a common relationship issue of familiarity.  That is, we crossed a line moving from a position of respecting one another to a position of having a right over one another.  She should do as I say. I carried her for 9 months, I nurtured and fed her. I provided for her.  She should listen to me.  I'm her mother.  This is not a message of unconditional love - it is now love with a condition.  The child who receives this message instinctively knows it's unhealthy and wrong, but they don't know how to express this.  Instead they scowl, or hit out, or sulk, or any number of behaviours we read as disrespectful.   Put simply, by taking the attitude 'I have a right over this one' we show disrespect to that child, and so what does the child do?  She does the only thing she knows to do, the very thing we are teaching her, she shows disrespect in return.

The interesting thing is, this is not just a problem between parents and their children, this is a global problem affecting all relationships.  That line of familiarity is crossed, and then we think we have a right over someone - he should remember my birthday, he should consider my needs before making any decisions, he should want what I want - or she should like me as I am, she should not be trying to change me, she should not be telling me how to do it.

What is our thinking before we cross this line?  This person is interesting, I want to get to know this person, I like listening to this person, this person is valuable, this person deserves to have good things.

Now, which way of thinking is more attractive?  Which way of thinking is going to draw the other close?  Which pushes the other one away?  Which way of thinking is more suitable for relationships?

Through the relationships we have with children, we see immediate effects of our own words and actions whereas with other adults, we may not see the return of our words until much later.  Children give us an opportunity to learn how our own thought processes affects others.  Their behaviour is an immediate reflection of our own.  If we learn to listen and accept the message they are sending, we can learn to transform our attitude from 'one with a right' to 'one with respect'.  

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

"I can't do everything, but I can do something."

"I can't do everything, but I can do something." 
- Edward Everett Hale 

When I saw that quote today, I felt a great sense of relief. It made me realize that I've been carrying around this 'I can do everything' ego. Worse than that, my ego more accurately says 'I have to do everything.' Such a burden we place on ourselves. This quote was grounding, freeing. Let me start with something. And let that something be useful. 

  Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

Should Have or Could Have?

Should Have or Could Have?

I've been playing around with words lately, and two words that make a huge difference in our language are should and could. Just listen to these two statements:

I should clean the house.

I could clean the house.

Say them out loud so you can really hear the difference. The difference being that one is an expectation and the other is an opportunity. When we couch statements as opportunities, we open up possibilities - we allow for choice - we create a positive outlook. When we have expectation, we make ourselves vulnerable to disappointment - we narrow our thinking - we create a judging outlook.

So, I've been playing around with these words. When I catch myself saying should, I replace it with could, I let it sink in, I celebrate the transformation that takes place.

For a long time, I've been saying that I should get back into blogging, and understandably feeling quite heavy about it. I now say, I could get back into blogging, and I feel so light about it, it comes easily.

Thank you all who have encouraged me to write again. I feel like I'm back on track.

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What Newness Will You Create?

What Newness Will You Create in the New Year?

I love this question. As I sit waiting to hear the New Year's message that every Brahma Kumar and Kumari will hear, I consider this question. Past is past. 2010 is now old news - ancient history, even. Lets look forwards to 2011 with zeal and enthusiasm.

Do I resurrect old failed resolutions? No, lets put those to rest and create something completely new. I'd rather celebrate renewed spirit rather than mourn my unfulfilled expectations.

With that in mind I thought I'd try these on for size.

1. Have a clear out - go clutter free. I'm not talking about my living environment or my desk space - already tried that. No, this time I mean to clear out the clutter in the head - the waste thoughts like rehashing the past, or endlessly going through my inventory of to-do lists. I don't need it.

2. Practice the art of giving. Research shows the happiest people are the givers. Why? To give, you have to first know what you already have. When you're in the attitude of giving, you have the awareness that 'I already have more than enough, I have enough to share.' It's an attitude that leaves you feeling full and rich.

3. Celebrate daily. Akin to 'count your blessings' - if I won the lottery, I would celebrate. A lot. But when I count my blessings, my fortune, it's as if I've already won the lottery. It's worth celebrating. To have such fortune and not to celebrate, well, that's akin to being Scrooge. Better to enjoy the fortune through celebration.

Ok, that's enough for now. May 2011 bring you multi-million blessings! And if you've not already found true happiness, may this be your year!

Om shanti.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

Duvet Day? No way!

Duvet Day? No way!

Remember Duvet Day? If you don't, you can read my earlier blogs on the subject (only a few blogs back). I basically got so moody and miserable I would declare a duvet day.

In the latest blog on duvet day (the one with all the cute monkeys) I mentioned that my doctor suggested I 'not indulge the senses'. So this time around I laid off the sweets, in fact I cut out snacking altogether, including dry roasted peanuts. You would think that cutting out snacks would be enough to make anyone moody, but actually, I had some interesting results.

1. I did not notice ANY mood swings.

2. I did not get the usual cramps.

3. I did not put on weight.

4. In fact, I lost a couple pounds - something I'd been trying to do for the past year.

5. I was generally feeling quite fit and not having the usual bloating.

Wow, could my doctor have been right?!

Have a Snack-free Christmas, everyone!

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

From Golf to Spiritual Bliss

From Golf to Spiritual Bliss

My husband used to take me to the driving range in an effort to cultivate an interest in golf. He enjoyed it and I thought I might enjoy it with him. He always kept me on the driving range though, realising that to allow me to play some holes would only frustrate me, frustrate him, and frustrate those playing behind us! I never quite got the knack of it. But there were moments when I hit the ball just so, and it would fly. It would literally sing though the air. Those were magic moments. Form, contact, swing - everything - was perfect and resulted in a perfect delivery. Good golfers aim to make these moments a regular constant occurrence. I could only manage a few of these, probably by accident! Still, I know the feeling you get when it does happen, I know that it's possible for it to happen and I know that given the time, practice and effort I could become a decent golfer.

Now lets use the same model for seeking happiness, enlightenment, or spiritual bliss. We can experience any one of these in fleeting moments. They happen upon us accidentally. We know they exist. Probably we believe they are gifts, that we have no control over when they come and go. But some make it their life study to make these momentary experiences occur with greater frequency and consistency. And a few have been rather successful at it. Just like golf, it takes a certain practice or effort to increase these spiritual moments. How?

Meditation seems to be the most popular tool. If you consider that happiness, bliss, and enlightenment are stages of the mind, then learning to master the mind and thought processes would seem the logical practice for achieving these. So we light a candle, put on some background music and sit cross-legged verbalizing 'om'. Any results yet?

Meditation is a good starting point. But there is something more, something extra required. Something that takes us beyond a daily physical practice. What is that thing?

I'll stop there to let you think about that. Reply with your thoughts - what do you think that extra something is. Together we can explore and perhaps even answer this deep riddle. Om shanti.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.