Outside the Box

I'm imagining a place where all is serene, peaceful, calm. There is no sorrow, no vice, no fear, no anxiety. Everyone there is loving and cooperative. In this place you feel like you're part of a family. You feel safe, happy, light and carefree.

It's a virtual paradise. Just take a few minutes to rest in this place. It's a place you will want to come back to often.

Now, imagine a box that exists in this place. The box is closed. Nothing inside the box can come out of the box. But the sides are transparent. You can view inside the box. And inside the box is the entire physical world. Can you imagine this? ;D

The world exists inside this box and is completely contained in the box. It cannot affect anyone outside the box. It cannot cause any harm. But it is quite dangerous. Why? Because as you view the scenes in the box, it is easy to get drawn deeper into the stories. You want to wait and see what happens next, you start to prefer a certain character, you want your character to do well inside the box, you want him to get the girl, the job, the house. You want your character to be happy, popular, etc. If someone insults your character you get annoyed and you don't like that character, the one who offends your character. You begin to urge your character to fight back. You urge your character to get tougher, and to be wary, and to be very careful who he befriends. And then your character is about to lose his job so you've got to help him keep it. Then he's about to lose his wife so you've got to sort that out too. Then the teenagers are kicking up and the dog has run away and pretty soon you're so anxious, for your character, that you nearly have a nervous breakdown.

What has happened? Here you are sitting in paradise, watching a scene in a box and you nearly have a nervous breakdown? At some point, you knew who you were and where you were. Then you got involved in the game inside the box and you forgot. You got so involved in the game, that you lost your true identity.

This is the story for us all. We have lost track of our true identity and have started to identify with characters in a box, characters in a scene of the world drama. And this has caused us to forget our true origins, our true selves. All we need to do is to come back to that paradise, spend a few minutes sitting there reminding ourselves of who we are and where we belong. Eventually, the memory is restored and we live the happy, healthy lives we were meant to live.

It's time to start thinking outside the box.

Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

Cats and Dogs

It's been raining off and on today - and when it was raining, it was raining cats and dogs. Which got me thinking. About cats and dogs.

I used to have cats myself. One got ill. And ended up in animal hospital. And didn't get better. I had to make a decision - keep paying the high costs of the hospital in hopes that he might recover or put the poor dear to sleep. I let my partner make the decision. We put the cat to sleep and paid off the debt that had racked up in the first couple weeks of care.

I love animals. I grew up with horses, chickens, rabbits, dogs and cats. We also had at one time hamsters, fish, parakeets and hermit crabs. But one thing I learned through all of this is that their life span is shorter than ours. They come and go. And sometimes they go sooner than you would expect. And I have suffered sadness as a result.

At the time, I didn't realize I had a choice. People get so attached to their pets. And when the pet dies or gets ill it creates a terrible sadness for them. It's as if they are creating, fostering and nurturing their eventual great sadness just by getting a pet in the first place. But it doesn't have to be that way. Instead of getting attached to the animal, remain loving yet detached. In other words, know that the animal is with you for a short time and that they could leave at any moment. If I had seen my pets in this way, then I would have suffered less and enjoyed them more. Doesn't that make better sense?

I can see this clearly now with pets (I'm not sure if any other animal lovers can - I hope so), but we can also apply this principle to everything. Wealth (if you have it) is only here temporarily - use it wisely now. Family and friends could go any time - enjoy your moments with them now. My house might not be standing tomorrow - enjoy the warmth and comfort now.

Walking in the rain (which was like cats and dogs) I felt so fortunate that at this very moment, I have a daughter and she is in a good school, and I have a house to sleep in, and food in the fridge, and a family, etc. Today, this very moment, I have so many blessings. And I am appreciative. Tomorrow, I may have none of these things, but I will have had them. And that is precious.

It is a myth to believe I own anything. I don't. It can all be gone tomorrow. But what I do have is my self (the soul), my place in the family of souls and my relationship with the Supreme Soul (God). Everything else is just icing on the cake. And right now it's beautiful.


Thank you for reading. For more information on Raja Yoga philosophy see www.bkwsu.org.

See only the specialities...

In Raja Yoga, we're taught when looking at others to see only their specialities, not their defects. I was just thinking how useful this advice would have been for my past employers. ;) When in employment (or seeking employment) we are groomed as to what employers want to hear - that we are self-motivated, that we are ambitious, that we work well in a team as well as on our own. Based on that description, I'd make the ideal employee. And at the time, I really thought I was. I believed those things about myself because I said it so convincingly in my interviews.

In my last place of full time employment, I became slightly more aware of myself. I discovered I was not really ambitious. I came clean to my employer. He was, I suspect, not terribly ambitious himself, and so he was fine with my declaration. Afterall, to keep me happy, he only needed to call me into his office occassionally, ask me if I'm happy, and tell me I was doing a good job. He was very hands off and that suited me.

After he was made redundant, I got a new boss who was new to management. He went on all the training sessions which taught him how to motivate and move his staff along a career path. Not sure why moving us along a career path was so important. I suspect it was to keep up the firms ratings for being a good employer - everyone has a career path. I just wanted to be told what to do, do it well, and be appreciated. Now I felt I was being forced to be ambitious. But I played along and I went on different training sessions like negotiation skills - which came in handy later when I went back for a contract position and had to negotiate my daily rate. ;)

Being a consultant was great. No boss, just a client. No one pushing me up a career ladder, just someone to tell me what to do, let me do it well and show appreciation each month via my bank account. ;)


So what does this have to do with seeing the specialities? It's a recognition that everyone is different. We're all motivated by different things - and I would argue we're rarely motivated by the self! And to get on with all our different relationships, we have to stop expecting others to fit into our own mold. As a project manager I found there are some who constantly miss the deadline, but they turn out excellent (and, dare I say, flawless) work. There are others who finish timely and, amazingly, accurately. Some are so accurate, they give you exactly what you ask for - so you have to make sure your request is accurate as well! Some are proactive and will check with you first on the finer details.

The point is, once you have discovered a person's speciality, you will then know how to go about making reasonable requests and getting the most out of them. I'm not saying it's easy. But if you're at a loss as to where to start, then start with respect. Respect will get you far and buy you time as you suss out the other's speciality. ;D

You crossed the line...

My husband's God-son wrote a song in his early teens with the above title. It had a hard rock feel to it and the lyrics talked about several cases where someone went a step too far and then the chorus repeated the phrase 'You crossed the line.' It was very clever and catchy - a song that any parent (or God-parent) would be proud of.

When we use the phrase 'crossed the line' we mean traversing from the right side of the line to the wrong side - that some inappropriate act was committed. I'm now going to draw for you another line. This line is drawn higher with an above space and a below space.

Those above the line, you could say, are all-knowing. They see the big picture. Their vision is not limited. For them, it is obvious that we (souls) are eternal. It is obvious that everyone is connected (brothers and sisters). It is obvious that we (souls) already have all that we need. Because of these understandings, those above the line feel secure. They have no fear of loss - they cannot lose anything. They have no desires because for them, they already have everything. They are content and also generous with what they have. They see the big picture and so their motivation is to act in ways that will benefit all.

By contrast, those below the line have a limited knowledge. They do not have the understanding that they are eternal and so they fear death. They do not have the understanding that they have everything already and so they desire a lot and fear the loss of everything they are under the illusion of possessing. Contentment evades them because they always want something more. They cannot be so generous because they see what they have as limited and they don't want to run out. They hold tight to things they cannot really possess and so they miss out on the beautiful gifts that are their birthrights. They do not see everyone as a brother and sister but will treat strangers with suspicion until they can make a valuation based on past but limited experience. They become attached to those things they cannot really possess and so eventual loss brings sorrow.

Which side of the line are you?

I believe children, in their innocence, start out above the line, but then through our well-meaning education, we pull them below. Now, I'm trying to get back to being above the line.

It reminds me of that wall at team-building camps - you can't get over it by yourself, but with the co-operation of many we can all get over it!

A lesson in independence...

Hello everyone! I'm back blogging and it feels great. Have I missed it? Yes. I've had several blogs running through my mind over the past few weeks and had I had time to pen them, I would have. But those tidbits will have to wait until another time.

Recently, a friend of mine asked me, 'How can you remain light when you have to depend on other people?' The answer? Don't be dependent! It was a glib answer and is not so helpful when you consider that the body needs to eat and needs clothing (at least during UK winters), etc. Yes, the body is quite dependent on a lot. But the soul is not dependent on anything. The soul needs nothing. It has no need for food or clothing or cars. It has no use for them even. When I remember that I am a soul and that I am only visiting this body, then I am no longer dependent on anything. Not even the body.

Ok, the soul requires the body for action, etc. But the soul is eternal. Bodies come and go, but the soul lives on regardless. The soul does not NEED action. The soul does not NEED the body. When I have this realization, then I am completely free. I am no longer slave to those things which I felt dependency. I am no longer needing Tom and MySpace. In fact, I no longer NEED to blog!

This is not an easy realization to digest. What does it mean to be soul conscious vs. body conscious? This is where our effort lies. However, when we have that feeling of soul consciousness, there is nothing like it. I wish this feeling for everyone. And then I wish everyone to feel it constantly.

Thanks for your kind emails. All is well and I should be permently moved back into the house by the end of this week.

Apply effort in the RIGHT place and you cannot fail...

This past week was a challenge for me. I was asked to put up four Finnish guests in my unfinished house. The builders said it would be ok, they could easily get the inside walls painted and the the floors varnished by the time the guests arrived. But as the date drew closer, it became clear that the builders were overly optimistic. The inside of the house was still a building site! How could I re-house 4 people at short notice?

I was feeling stressed and a bit overwhelmed with my task. The weekend before they were to arrive it dawned on me - just clear out the back extension (which was currently full of my loft contents) and bed them on two sofa's and two futons. I don't know how I cleared the space - but somehow I managed to create a sleeping area, a dining space and some kitchen area so they could have hot drinks and light foods. The only other remaining matter was the bathroom which I cleaned after the builders left. AND, the builders chose to work outside the following day so that I wouldn't have to re-clean it when they went home.

I observed a few things about myself and others in this scene. Firstly, I was stressing a lot. But when I found a workable solution, the stress melted away and everything became easy. Secondly, when you're thoughtful and respectful of others, you get loads of cooperation. Never did I try to force the builders to stick to their estimates (I'd rather they did the job properly than rush anyway!). Instead I kept them informed, thanked them for their help, and checked with them about any changes. As a result, they worked late to make up for missed hours, worked outside while the guests were in residence and co-operated in so many other ways. Thirdly, instead of trying to make an unworkable solution work, I applied my efforts to finding a workable solution.

This is very different to how I would have operated in the past. I would have been demanding and stressed and made life miserable for as many people as possible. But this new method made everything seem easy and the guests had a nice visit.

Sometimes we get so caught up in making unworkable things work that we don't consider the alternatives. This is when we need to apply effort to come out of the situation, observe it, and make informed choices instead of emotional ones.

Feelings... nothing more than feelings.

Today I was anxious. I had this anxious feeling. It had been plaguing me most of the day. I don't put much stock in feelings - I know they can be misleading. I tried to ignore this feeling and I couldn't, so I decided to take some time out and analyze. I don't often recommend analyzing - it can mean that you go off into wasteful expansion. But I was going into wasteful expansion by not analyzing, so I decided to have a look at where this feeling was coming from.

It was connected with money. Lately I've watched a lot of money leave our account. We're having an extension built, my car just got serviced, and I have an appointment with the accountant to discuss taxes. But it's not just that. I don't get anxious writing checks. I'm not too bothered about paying taxes. But I do get anxious about not knowing how much more will go out. AND having to justify extra expenses.

This anxious feeling was becoming overwhelming. I had discovered the triggered. Now it was time to adjust my perspective. So first, a few facts to consider which I didn't consider when developing my anxious feeling:

1. My justifications are fine if I'm satisfied with them. I don't have to satisfy anyone else.

2. Whilst I should consider care in handling money, if I review my actions and find that I have not erred in my handing of the money, then I should be satisfied with that. Even if I have erred, past is past. Learn the lesson and move on.

3. Make the drama small. This is one scene in the drama. If I attach importance to it and blow it out of proportion, then I will be trapped by all the feelings and emotions that go with it. If I see it as just a temporary passing scene, a part of one whole, then I put it into perspective. It becomes small and insignificant.

This last point is the most important and useful. It doesn't mean that I ignore what's happening with my money, it means that I can rid myself of unhelpful emotions - feelings that stop me getting on with other things. And once that feeling is in check, I can be effective once more.

Thanks for listening - I needed that. ;D